


choose your favorite vice

by littleblacksubmarine



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Blow Jobs, Drinking, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Tequila
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:47:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22788193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleblacksubmarine/pseuds/littleblacksubmarine
Summary: Sonny had always wondered what he'd say if he saw Rafael again, and it turns out a work conference provided the opportunity. He hadn't factored in the possibility of tequila shots.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 138





	choose your favorite vice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adabarbacarisi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adabarbacarisi/gifts).



> Slight spoilers for episode 21x13, "Redemption in Her Corner."

"ADA Carisi."

The title hadn’t quite sunken in as one he could actually respond to these days, despite how often he'd practiced introducing himself as such in the mirror, but the voice which spoke it made him stiffen up straighter. Here in Chicago, so many miles from home, he hadn't expected to be addressed as such from someone who couldn't see the block-printed nametag pinned to his suit jacket. In the pit of his stomach, he knew he didn't need to turn around to recognize the voice, though he did so with a grudging sense of excitement.

Sonny registered the beard first and foremost, grown thick but tidily maintained across the bottom half of Rafael's face. His stomach clenched with a familiar feeling that had been unfortunately absent since the events of, well, _everything_ , and been replaced with a feeling of betrayal over having not received so much as a goodbye.

He could admit that it was a childish feeling, but one he tried to give himself a modicum of grace over.

Benson had told him about the beard - had told all of them, really, in a passing mention of a Skype call with the dearly departed former ADA Barba, the way you would of someone gone, not forgotten, but sadly put away in a drawer where the reminder of it would be less painful to look at and could be safely discussed with a fond nostalgia. He hadn't expected to see it for himself, let alone in the flesh, let alone in the hotel lounge where he'd found himself at a case law conference it took a cramped plane ride with a screaming baby to get to.

"Counselor," he said, playing for casual despite the stuffed, contained beating of emotion beneath his ribs. "Fancy seeing you here."

"I'd say the same for you," Rafael said, with a practiced ease that seemed to come far more naturally than the mask Sonny had scrambled to put on before he could be deemed _nervous_ by such an astute observer. "Though at a national conference, I guess it's to be expected?"

"Guess so," Sonny said, suddenly wishing he'd had time to finish ordering at the bar before being ambushed by the living embodiment of several years of hero worship he'd managed to process the loss of. His suit felt stifling all of a sudden, and he similarly wished he'd decided to close out the last night of the conference in sweatpants with takeout and a crime procedural in his hotel room.

He'd always liked the small annoyance of seeing a job done improperly with a flair for drama on television, but now it made him miss the thrill of field work - the clatter of his dress shoes against the pavement as he chased down a perp, the way it felt to snap cuffs around the wrists of someone who truly deserved it. He watched a lot of house hunting shows now instead - another, safer hour of annoyance to settle in with.

"Congratulations on the promotion," Rafael said, gesturing at him with a highball glass full of god only knew what. His eyes were sharp despite the fact that the contents of the glass appeared to have dwindled.

"Thank you." Sonny wondered how Rafael had felt when he heard the news, and he silently hoped he had been deemed deserving of it. "Congratulations on, uh, your new career," he said, slowly and carefully and in a way that immediately sounded ridiculous to his own ears. He prayed the dim lighting of the lounge could conceal the faint but hot blush that prickled at his cheeks and ears.

Rafael gave him a small, bemused smile, and Sonny wondered if he ought to feel appropriately sized up and found wanting.

"Thank you," Rafael echoed, taking a sip of his drink. "Can I buy you a drink, since we both appear to have things to be celebrating?"

Perhaps the conversation could develop into something with a little more acknowledgement of history than small acts of politeness. Sonny had thought about this before, in times before it felt like decades had passed; he'd wanted to see just what it would look like for Rafael to loosen more than just his tie and cufflinks at the end of a long day. He remembered the first time he'd had a couple of drinks out with the squad and had an intrusive wondering of just what it would feel like to push Rafael against the wall, to slam their mouths together, and he felt immensely guilty for it for days afterward.

"Oh, sure," Sonny agreed. "I was, uh, I was about to leave, but I guess I could stay." It was a white lie, and he was sure Rafael could probably see it written all over him, but was thankful that he made no effort to call him on it. He realized the bartender was already looking at him expectantly. "I, uh - " He wished he hadn't suddenly lost all the composure he'd fought hard to start developing the minute he stepped into his new position. "Whiskey and Coke?"

"And another of these, please," Rafael said politely, gesturing again with his own drink. He turned back to Sonny as the bartender busied himself with preparing the drinks. "I see you invested in a new suit." And there he was, comments as pointed as ever.

Sonny rolled his eyes. "I've invested in _two_ new suits, I'll have you know." He omitted the fact that he'd agonized over doing so, both in terms of his paycheck and hopelessly limited knowledge of style.

Raising an eyebrow, Rafael smiled, only a little obscured by the thickness of his beard. "You're a completely new man, Carisi."

"Well, y'know," he said, grateful as the bartender slid his drink across the bar toward him. "Fordham Law boy makes good."

"Certainly," Rafael agreed, turning away only to tell the bartender to keep his tab open. He took a drink, finishing the one that was still in his hand and effectively draining the last mouthful from it. He rubbed at his beard thoughtfully. "I really had no doubt, you know."

Sonny gave a small sputter around the mouthful of whiskey and soda he'd sipped, but did his best to disguise it as a wince at the taste of expensive hard liquor after a long day. He swallowed, feeling Rafael's eyes on him. He wondered how long Rafael had been in the bar but assumed it would be indelicate to ask.

"That makes one of us," he replied honestly, figuring there was no harm in a little concession of vulnerability. "I think I ought to thank you," he added. "All that time you let me follow you around, bothering you over your shoulder."

"You helped sometimes," Rafael said, tone gently teasing. It felt surprising and almost foreign to have him rapt with interest about something that didn't pertain to court or summations or _I can't get a warrant for this, Detective - try again_. Sonny let out a huffing laugh, knowing there was no malice here, not half the country away from home, stood at the bar next to someone he never expected to see again despite the way he'd allowed himself to hope for a call for those first few months. "Really though - I was proud to hear it when Liv told me."

His heart swelled, feeling too big for his chest, and for the second time of the night, he felt slightly childish and silly for it.

"Thank you," he said, sheepishly looking down in his glass, swishing around the bottom for show although it didn't need stirring. "That means a lot. I - y'know, big shoes to fill." Rafael made a dismissive, modest shrug, but Sonny could tell he'd enjoyed the compliment.

"I don't follow much of the news in the city these days," Rafael said, and for a moment Sonny recalled some of the horrors the last few months had brought, and wished he could say the same before remembering that there was now another layer of complication in the way Rafael related to the inner workings of the Manhattan legal system - a dense, hurtful one at that. It was best to ignore the implication of it. "Have you been working on anything interesting?"

To Sonny, it was all interesting, but he inwardly blanched at the idea of boring _the_ Rafael Barba with something he'd consider mundane - something he could've sleepwalked his way through in the first few months he'd spent in the position.

Even so, when he opened his mouth about his cases, he seemed unable to stop himself, regaling Rafael with even the smallest details of his first few cases, unnoticing of how long he'd been speaking until he realized Rafael had been subtly ordering their third round of shared drinks. He stared at where his whiskey and Cokes had been lining up on the bar, and wondered when he had started to warm up.

"I'm sorry - I must be boring you," he said faintly, head swimming pleasantly.

"No, no. It's wonderful," Rafael told him, and it struck Sonny that a note of earnestness had crept into his voice. "It's nice to hear a prosecutor talk about the work with enthusiasm. You forget that there's room for more than just cynicism."

Sonny opened his mouth and closed it after a beat before speaking, and Rafael regarded him with a look of equal measures of expectancy and curiosity. Sonny took a slow inhale.

"I was going to say that you never struck me as cynical, but then I realized I was just being polite," he said honestly, and Rafael let out a sharp, barking laugh that might've been out of place for the attorney he had known in Manhattan, what felt like a lifetime ago.

There was a warmth in his eyes that Sonny couldn't excuse as the simple result of alcohol, and his smile now looked relaxed instead of guarded as it had at the beginning of the conversation. "Really, you don't have to buy me anymore drinks. You should let me," Sonny suggested, and wondered if he was overstepping his boundaries to expect to drink anymore with Rafael.

"Don't be ridiculous. We're celebrating." It was perhaps a polite euphemism for, _I can probably guess what your salary is_ , but Sonny chose to accept it anyway and didn't protest. Fuzzily, he watched Rafael rubbing one idle circle around the rim of the glass, and fleetingly wondered what his hands might feel like before guiltily redirecting his thoughts away from it. It was one thing for an old acquaintance (or more than that, he hopefully reminded himself) to buy you are a drink, but quite another to be the cause for extended celebration.

Nearing the bottom of the third drink and a pause in Rafael's story of learning to drive down a sun-soaked, nearly forgotten highway in Iowa out of sheer necessity, Sonny smiled up from his glass, hoping he only looked a little bleary eyed with the effects of the drink.

"There have been times I wondered what you'd do," Sonny said before he could stop himself. "You know - like, with my cases." He paused. "It's just - I wasn't sure what to expect, I guess, but I didn't expect it to be so hard sometimes." The vulnerability quietly horrified him, but Jim Beam had wrenched it out of him. He wrung the fingers of one hand, hearing the knuckle of his index finger crack.

Rafael smiled, leaning in a little. "You aren't the only one who felt that way, Counselor," he said conspiratorially, and the proper use of the title made a delighted shiver run down Sonny's back.

"I didn't go to Harvard," Sonny said, trying to give back as good as he'd gotten, and it landed as intended. He could've listened to Rafael laugh all night, and it reminded him of the jolting feeling he'd gotten the first time he'd seen Rafael give a closing statement on a slam dunk case, while entirely unique at the same time.

"I've never been a cop," he pointed out, and now it was Sonny's turn to laugh. "Can you imagine me with a gun? Ridiculous." He smiled, clearly enjoying his own self-conjured mental image. He shook his head. "Another drink?" he asked. "I'm assuming it's your last night in Chicago, now that the conference is wrapping up?"

Sonny nodded, knowing he'd likely regret any further drinks in the morning, but so glad and relaxed to be allowed into Rafael's orbit again. He'd never wanted to admit how much he'd missed the idea of it.

"Then it sounds like you've got about 12 hours left to treat as a vacation," Rafael said, ever rational and adept at presenting the truth in something murky. There was the faintest edge of _something_ in Rafael's voice, smooth and close to velvety, and it made something settle hotly and heavily in the pit of Sonny's belly. The lowering of his inhibitions made Sonny's palms prickle in sweat, and he swallowed the last of his drink to distract himself.

Unexpectedly, Rafael gestured to a large, stout bottle with a cork toward the top of the shelves of liquor behind the bar after he'd caught the bartender's eye. "Two shots of that, please," he said. Tequila. Sonny had left tequila behind entirely after an ill-advised night of pounding shots with his sisters at an ill-advised New Years Eve when he was twenty five, and the memory of his hangover reflexively gave him a few seconds of a pounding headache.

Even so, he made no sound of protest, and watched as the bartender tipped two generous shots into glasses and placed them in front of he and Sonny. Sonny reached for his, but Rafael held up a patient finger, urging him to pause as the bartender laid out a small dish with lime slices and a single salt shaker.

"I've only seen this on TV," he said, voice gone almost unnoticeably hoarse at the mental image of what he might witness Rafael doing with his tongue, and he only felt a little shame at the idea that his mind could wander to something so sinful and indulgent.

"Vacation is the best place to learn new tricks," Rafael pointed out, busying himself with picking up the salt shaker, and Sonny definitely knew now that there was some type of exciting undercurrent of promise - or at least flirtation - present between the two of them. He couldn't put a finger on when it had crept in. "Salt first. Then shot. Then lime."

"You don't strike me as the shots type," Sonny told him earnestly.

Rafael gave him a smirk, though there was no disdain in it. "You don't strike me as the shots novice type," he said, tipping out a short shake of salt onto the back of his left hand before passing the shaker to Sonny. Sonny mirrored the action, and went on to copy Rafael even more as he lifted the shot to his lips.

For a split second he watched Rafael's tongue draw a small stripe across the back of his hand, copying him while considering the way Rafael's mouth might feel against his skin. The burn of the tequila made him shiver on his way down, and at least he could attribute the warmth that now wormed its way into his core to the splash of liquor instead of the way Rafael seemed to make eye contact with him for a split second before they both sank their teeth into the limes.

"See? Nothing to it," Rafael mused, voice roughened with the remnants of alcohol.

Sonny's vision swam a little, and he smiled, wishing for a chaser but not wanting to appear weakened.

"Right," he agreed, hoping not to waver on his feet. "Hopefully I'm not too terrible."

"Not rocket science, Carisi," Rafael teased, abandoning his shot glass next to the line of highball glasses he'd effectively emptied.

They stood in a companionable silence, though Sonny could feel tension between them, a pause heavy with things he had long wondered if he'd ever get that chance to say, until he could stand the silence no longer and -

"I always wished you would've said something when you left," Sonny blurted, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. Mortification poured over him, molten and damning, and he knew it was written all over his face. Rafael turned to look at him, regarding him quizzically but looking as composed as ever - at least, as much as possible with a tequila shot still fresh on his lips. "Jesus - shit - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - "

This time Rafael didn't smile, but he didn't look angry or upset either, which Sonny supposed was promising.

"What do you mean?"

Sonny hung his head for a moment, wishing he could take the admission back but knowing it was all too out in the open.

"I just thought - you know, if you had to go - I just thought you might want to say goodbye, but you didn't." The statement sounded petulant to his own ears. "I don't know what I would've said, but I'm sure I would've figured it out?" he added helplessly.

Rafael was now openly studying his face. "I didn't realize it would hurt you like that," he said, frank as ever but uncharacteristically vulnerable. "I guess I just thought that - " He paused, drumming his fingertips on the bar beside the empty glasses. He took a breath as though to compose himself. " - that I had disappointed you with my actions. After all, you'd come to me for guidance before." The next pause between the two of them was even heavier than the previous one. "I wasn't a person suitable to give guidance after that."

For a moment, Sonny considered ordering another drink to ease some of his anxiety, but shook the urge away.

"It was more than that," he objected. "I mean - I - " He floundered, trying to collect his thoughts enough to avoid embarrassment, but it was futile. " - I felt like I was close to you, and I would've watched you do anything." It was maybe the most open thing he'd ever said to another person, and he felt for a moment that he might suffocate under the weight of the vague shame of it.

"Well," Rafael said, and it felt like an entire sentence in and of itself. "I ought to have given it more thought. I apologize." He had somehow stepped even closer despite the fact that the lounge was only half full, and his eyes were on Sonny entirely now as though he'd forgotten where they were. "Forgive me?"

"I - " Sonny's mouth had suddenly gone dry. "I - yes, definitely." He'd thought about what he might say if he ever ran into Rafael again, certainly, but never expected it would actually happen. He'd expected to be met with resistance if he'd ever be fully honest about the dull feeling of betrayal he'd had at the time, had expected Rafael to cut him to ribbons with words as well chosen as ever. "You just - you could've called or something. Texted. You wouldn't have even had to look at me." His words were running away from him, and he supposed he could blame it on the liquor if he regretted it.

A small smile creased Rafael's features, breaking what remained of any tension posted up by the bar. "It would've been a shame to not give myself the opportunity to look at you."

The implication of the words made heat rise from his inside his chest up into his face, and he knew he'd grown slightly redder. This time, he assumed Rafael had noticed, but he couldn't find it in himself to leave any room for embarrassment this time around. He was glad he'd finished his drink so as not to choke on it.

"I hope that wasn't too forward," Rafael continued, tacking it on almost as an afterthought, as though he couldn't read Sonny's mind that the statement was entirely welcome.

"No, not at all," Sonny said, voice almost too faint beneath the soft music in the lounge. He wondered if anyone milling around in the bar had any way of knowing that one of his wildest dreams was shaping up in front of him, an apparition manifesting as a reality. "I didn't think that you - "

Rafael smiled as though glad he hadn't been entirely too transparent for his own good. "It certainly didn't bother me to have you lurking over my shoulder," he said, plainspoken as ever in a way that felt refreshing for Sonny not to have to guess at as no stranger to a promising date and a disappointing ghost afterward.

"I - there was a reason I did it that wasn't for purely professional reasons, I guess, I just - " He was at a loss for words almost entirely, flustered in a way he hadn't felt since a freshman year Winter Wonderland dance when he'd spilled some half-assed punch all over Monica Anderson's pale pink formal. Rafael gave a knowing nod, and he knew he didn't need to continue any further with the disorganized explanation.

Beside him, Rafael appeared to take a split second to steady himself, all that it took to gather his composure. "We could talk somewhere else," he suggested in a way that felt both surreal and natural to Sonny, and his heart hammered in his chest.

"I have a minibar," he suggested despite his earlier worries about a hangover. He considered the old adage about only living once and decided it was all too applicable. Rafael smiled, motioning for the check and signing it without a second look. Sonny assumed there was something to be said for the lower cost of living in flyover country, and immediately the thought registered as a snobby one.

Sonny certainly wavered on his feet now, knocked off of his sea legs by the combination of whiskey and tequila coursing through him, let alone with the new addition of Rafael's eyes on him, and his body leaning into Sonny's space. Rafael's hand rested on his lower back in the elevator, the two of them now closer than ever. It was more than he had ever allowed himself to dream of since Rafael had left the district attorney's office, and by extension, Sonny's day to day life.

He fumbled as he worked on fishing his key card out from where he'd safely stashed it in his wallet. Rafael watched him with amusement, though they were certainly both all too aware what might be waiting on the other side of the door. Sonny sighed in relief at hearing the _click_ of the lock opening when he swiped the card in it, and Rafael crowded him in the door.

The door had scarcely shut behind them before Rafael's mouth was on his in a slick pressure of teeth and lips and _that tongue_ , the one that had licked salt from his hand and brought crime rings and court rooms and entire precincts to their knees. Sonny moaned against his mouth, enjoying the way Rafael's hands indelicately fisted in the lapels of this suit.

"I only have two actual nice suits so far," Sonny protested, voice already half-broken open.

Rafael made a soft noise of agreement, pulling away only to strip off the suit jacket. He hung it delicately on the back of a chair, smoothing it absently even though he hadn't left so much as a wrinkle.

"Forgive me," he said quietly, sliding his hands up the front of Sonny's dress shirt to work on undoing the knot in Sonny's tie. As soon as he finished, he allowed the tie to slither free from Sonny's collar, and he placed it on top of the jacket with care. "About those drinks?"

"Right, right," Sonny said hurriedly, pulling away with reluctance. He turned, opening the minibar and fishing inside for two airline bottles of tequila - much lower shelf than the ones in the lounge, but they'd suffice. There was a single lime on the bottom shelf of the fridge, and in a haste he set to sawing it in clumsy halves with a butter knife next to microwave on the countertop beside it. He kicked himself for his gracelessness, but Rafael didn't seem to mind in the least.

"Need more practice?" Rafael asked from behind him, stepping in closer.

"It takes ten thousand hours to be an expert in something," Sonny said uselessly.

Rafael rolled his eyes good naturedly. "God help you if you do." When the lime was in pieces, he coaxed the plastic knife out of Sonny's hand, taking the salt shaker, airline bottles, and paper plate of hacked lime slices and settling down at the foot of the bed, kicking his shoes off. Sonny joined him uncertainly.

As soon as he'd landed on the bed, Rafael kissed him again, nipping gently at his bottom lip after a few seconds. Sonny let out a shaky sigh and allowed himself to be kissed as thoroughly as Rafael wanted - anything that Rafael wanted here in the quiet space of his hotel room with the air conditioner left on too high by the housekeeping staff. Rafael only kissed him harder as he began unbuttoning Sonny's shirt before coaxing it and his undershirt off and away entirely.

"Can I?" he asked patiently, as if Sonny were in any position to deny him anything. He laid a patient hand on Sonny's waist, nipping gently now at the front of his throat, sure to send him home with the tiniest of bruises. He noticed Rafael was holding the salt shaker in one hand, and he let out a ragged groan at the implication.

"Anything you want," Sonny agreed. Rafael coaxed him back until he half-laid on the bed, propped up on his elbows with his chest bared. Rafael slid a hand reverently up his chest from his waist, kissing between his collarbones. Sonny took in another shaking breath at the feel of Rafael's beard softly scraping at his chest as he sucked in another small bruise. "The beard is - fuck, it's pretty great."

"Thank you." Rafael nuzzled at his chest, beard rasping against the pale skin there. Sonny took a deep breath. "Have you ever been with a man before, Sonny?"

"It's been a long time," he admitted cautiously, hoping it wouldn't deter the slowly building burn between the two of them. "I take it you have?"

Rafael smiled, stroking Sonny's sidebody with two patient fingers. "Almost exclusively." He kissed Sonny again with a slow gentleness, the likes of which Sonny hadn't had directed at him in a painfully long time. "I want to make you feel good. Did you ever think about me like this, back then?"

The question was almost wholly unnecessary, but Sonny knew better than to choose not indulge Rafael - not with the way his hips were arching off the bed as though desperate to meet Rafael's, even though it was in vain. "Of course I did. Couldn't you tell?"

He could feel Rafael let out a soft, breathy laugh against the side of his neck before carefully nipping at the skin there. Secretly, he hoped he would take more than a few marks home with him to serve as a reminder that what happened in Chicago was real, even halfway across the country.

"I hoped my instincts were right," Rafael told him knowingly. He reached for the salt shaker again, steadying Sonny at the hip with a firm, gentle hand so as to keep him still. He tipped a small bit of salt onto Sonny's collarbone where he'd just been mouthing, and proceeded to unscrew the cap of the small bottle of tequila.

Sonny's veins were running hot, unable to be attributed to the rush of the booze from downstairs. He could feel his cock hard in his dress pants, needing attention, but he dared not rush Rafael. He gave a small jolt, feeling the slick, persistent warmth of Rafael's tongue as he licked away the small amount of salt. It was better that he could've imagined, even as much as he'd tried in _the old days_ , turning ideas of how Rafael might touch him over and over in his mind. 

"God," Sonny breathed, watching as Rafael tipped his head back, drinking down the small airline bottle and only flinching a little at the taste of cheaper tequila. He smiled wolfishly at Sonny as he sank his teeth into the lime and sucked out some of the juice. "Jesus Christ - I haven't seen you in how long, and you repay me by trying to kill me?"

"Something like that," Rafael agreed, now kissing down his chest to tease at the peak of his nipple. "Do you hate me for it?"

Sonny let out a soft groan as Rafael unbuckled his belt. "I'm trying. It isn't working." Rafael stroked the stiff length of him through his pants, taking time to feel the shape of him. "You're so fucking sexy, Rafael."

Slowly, Rafael brought down the zipper of his pants, kissing even further downward, lips almost to his waistband, and there was no mystery about his intentions now. Rafael gave a fond, intentional nip to the skin just below Sonny's navel, pulling a soft gasp out of him. Sonny had barely dared to dream this far, except for nights that felt too hot after days that felt too long. In hindsight he could only wonder why he'd let those long days run away from him, could only wonder if things would be different if he'd only had the nerve to act at the time.

"I would guess most people don't know about your dirty mouth, do they, Carisi?" he asked, mouth forming each word against his skin, the sentence occasionally marked by a wet kiss to his belly as he pulled Sonny's cock free of his pants. The feeling of Rafael's hand on the bared length of him made Sonny's head fall back. He remained propped up on his elbows, suddenly desperate to watch every second of what Rafael was going to do to him. "Do people know how much you want this?"

"No," Sonny confirmed. He was nearly beyond words, not as Rafael dragged the rough flat of his tongue over the head of his cock. "Fuck - please," he panted. "God." Rafael rewarded him by giving the head a practiced suck, clearly enjoying the ragged wetness of Sonny's breath. He was clearly encouraged by the noise, and proceeded to slide his mouth down the length of Sonny's cock, taking him almost fully in.

Words had entirely failed Sonny now, only able to produce a garbled noise of surprise and delight. He frantically pushed his pants down lower, wishing to be as exposed as possible to the maximum amount of contact that Rafael might be willing to allow him. Rafael complied, spreading a possessive hand over his belly as he bobbed his head. Sonny's hips stuttered.

"I want to see you too," he gasped out, and Rafael unfortunately pulled away for a moment, but it wasn't without its benefits as he stripped off his sweater and dress shirt. Sonny trailed a finger across the golden skin of his shoulders, almost surprised he was allowed to touch. "Yeah. You look so good," he murmured, carding his fingers through Rafael's chest hair.

Rafael smiled, resuming the practiced work of his mouth around Sonny, now grasping at his own cock through the fine fabric of his pants and humming in satisfaction. His mouth moved up and down, drawing desperate noises of pleasure from Sonny. Sonny looped his hand around the back of Rafael's neck, pulling him in closer but taking pains not to push too hard, knowing Rafael wouldn't appreciate rude insistence. He let out a shaky gasp, looking down to watch the slick mess of Rafael sucking his cock, scarcely able to be believed.

"That feels so fucking good," he moaned, fisting his other hand in the sheets when Rafael looked up to meet his eyes. Rafael reached around to grasp at the meat of his ass, pulling Sonny closer on his own terms. "You - you're going to make me - " It felt only appropriate to warn him. It suddenly felt like it had been an impossibly long time since he'd been touched like this, and the thought of Rafael being the one to do it made the sensation even more intense.

Rafael's hands left him and reached down to undo his own belt and pants, kicking them off and away with his shoes and socks on the floor. He wrapped his hand around his freed cock, stroking in time with the movements of his tongue.

He made a soft noise of appreciation, obviously able to taste the building slickness at the tip of Sonny's cock and savoring the breathy pants Sonny let out.

"I want to make you come," he insisted, breaking away only long enough to speak and then returning with an intense suck.

Sonny whimpered helplessly, sounding weak and needy to his own ears but knowing Rafael would appreciate it. He would enjoy the heady power of making Sonny fall apart, and the notion was confirmed as he watched Rafael pulling at himself.

"I'm coming," Sonny gasped out, a twisting heat now unable to be restrained. He arched up with no further warning, coming hard than he had in recent memory. It seemed to last forever, and he would've been more than all right with the feeling never ending. He slumped backwards only for a second before pressing himself back up, watching Rafael lick a stray drop of his come from the corner of his lips. "Oh my god."

Rafael smiled appreciatively, knowing he'd gotten the reaction he wanted to. Sonny hooked his hands underneath Rafael's arms, dragging him up his body to pull him on top.

"That good?" Rafael asked, though he clearly knew the answer. Sonny nodded enthusiastically, trying to come back to his senses but now taking Rafael in his hand. "I don't know how long I can last," Rafael admitted, though it felt useless to apologize. "It's just that watching you come apart like that - "

He didn't continue and only leaned down to press a soft, almost chaste kiss to Sonny's lips, and Sonny could taste himself on Rafael's mouth. It surprised him that it did little to disgust or dissuade him.

"I want to make you come too," Sonny said, still shuddering with the force of his orgasm. He pumped Rafael quickly with an insistence he would've enjoyed himself. It clearly accomplished his goal, and he watched Rafael tilt his head back as though to fully immerse himself in the indulgence of it all. "Fuck, I wondered how you'd look when you did this to yourself, wondered how you'd look if you'd have let me touch you."

"I would've," Rafael gritted out, splaying a hand across Sonny's pectoral muscle as he ground into Sonny's hand for even more friction. "I would've let you do whatever you wanted."

The idea of being handed full permission to spread Rafael out in a bed and explore his body for as long as he wanted made Sonny feel hot all over, and he knew he could've been hard in an instant if he hadn't already come. He leaned up, kissing Rafael harder as his strokes sped up. Rafael groaned dirtily into his mouth, immediately tensing up and spilling his come all over Sonny's chest.

They sat in an easy, companionable silence as Rafael caught his breath, letting the gravity of the situation settle over them to sink in. Rafael reached over for tissues from the box beside the bed, cleaning Sonny patiently and with a tenderness that betrayed the lust and desperation of what they'd just shared.

"I meant it, you know," Rafael told him, still slightly breathless. "I would've let you do whatever you wanted, and I would've done whatever you wanted to."

Sonny smiled up at the ceiling before meeting Rafael's eyes.

"Looks like you need an excuse to come back to the city sometime."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I stole this lovely idea from @adabarbacarisi, who wanted Rafael licking salt off of Sonny's clavicle for tequila shots. Of course I had no choice but to take it and run with it and make it filthy, shameless smut with feelings. I hope I did your wonderful idea justice, 'cause it was super fun to write. 
> 
> The title of this story is taken from Cage the Elephant's 'Social Cues.'   
> Thank you again for reading! You can find me on Twitter at @LBSubmarine, if you are so inclined.


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